Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Two Birds, One Stone

Thun.der.bird /n/: A spirit of thunder, lightning, and rain in the form of a huge bird in the mythology of certain Native American peoples.

Thun.der.bird /n/: Fruit flavored, fortified wine drink usually found in urban area convenience stores for a relatively cheap price.

If you were to ask your average Lakota Indian (And I know you have) about the proud heritage of the majestic Thunderbird, he would surely regale thee w/ tales of this auspicious thunder-eating fowl. Consequently, if you were to ask your average bum in Newark about that same subject, you’d probably be offered a hand job in a public park under the auspice of acquiring this strange species of bender-juice. Frankly, this is why I avoid soup kitchens.

Nothing good ever came out of from a screw-top, and Thunderbird is no exception. The stupor one crafts on this shit is of the fightin’ kind (Sweatin’ & Cussin’), and the hangover is of such a rare species that you would welcome the sweet embrace of death as an alternative to the Armageddon you have unknowingly unleashed in your head. Oh, and it turns your tongue black like a giraffe's. Needless to say, I love this shit.

Story goes that brothers Earnest and Julio Gallo (Yup, the very same) were looking to market a relatively cheap wine to the as-yet undervalued urban demographic (See: Ghetto). Priced to move and for-T-fied (i.e. added booze), the only component missing was a conveyance to get their product to the masses. I assume the brainstorming session when something like this:

Ernest: Say Julio, how can we sell this shitty cough syrup to ornery black folk?

Julio: Why, by capitalizing on their affinity for rhyming couplets, of course!

Hence this crafting of thee greatest commercial jingle of all times…

"What's the word? / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice."

Having gotten that that off my chicken chest, I really don’t know shit about these two records, save for their obvious mutual adoration of Lokata heritage and tradition (Obviously). The Casual-Aires tune is perhaps the most conspicuous of the two, having been included in Crypt records Las Vegas Grind series, an as for the ‘Thunderbird Twist’, I grabbed that pearl out of a box of junk near Trenton and I haven't looked back (Don't wanna make eye contact). Seriously,'Twist' is one of my absolute faves (my standards are admittedly low).

Make sure you get your wig busted up on some dirty bird before loosing these hounds. Just screw off the cap and let your inner transient take flight.

What's the jive? / Bird's alive!

Thunderbird Twist - Thunderbirds

Thunderbird - Casual-Aires

P.S. Dig these vintage adverts (Here and Here) for the crowned-prince of low-class hooch. Nothin' say classy like James Mason!


Exeter said...

Ain't no More Thunderbird Twist !

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