Consistency: The Hobgoblin of a Small Mind?

Well…it was inevitable. Punk had to die sometime. There is no way you can sustain that amount of nihilism without one day questioning your prospects (Dope or Law school?). Like any transition, it was always gonna get worse before it got better: what was once loosely focused anger turning into arty, non-linear existentialism before hatching New-Wave like a neon marshmallow peep. The hippies did it before, but where they so fully turned their back on their granola-eating tenants and embraced capitalism, your average retired punk still, despite the best efforts of upper-management, retains that irreverent shine that makes the movement so appealing after so many years - either that or they join/start a rockabilly band.

So if you, dear reader, like me, bemoan the compromising of principals which are now a luxury one can’t rightly afford, then dig this little road map of a post-punk landscape circa 79-87. You can still not shower if you like. Just make sure you show up to work on time.



The Mad - Sick!

Long before it became quaint to have an unintelligible Asian guy fronting your combo, NYC's Screamin' Mad George was out and about, rollin around on the floor in leathers and making incorrect use of the article "a", as in "I've got a syphilis". While not as good as 'I Hate Music', I don't own that one ($700 bucks my white ass!) so...


Wild Kingdom - The Way to Love

Great demo-tape track plucked from obscurity by the folks @ Boston's Throbbing Lobster Records for inclusion in their legendary series of comps. Why this track never became bigger than clam-chowder and baked beans, I'll never know, but it certainly is tastier, and less apt to give you botulism.



Rhino 39 - Marry It

This is the So-Cal band that got punk legends TSOL into the game, and if that don't get your attention...









The Pop Group - Thief of Fire

Circa 79' Dub-Punk (?!?!) straight outta Bristol. Best known for their collaboration w/ the Slits, this 'Group' is so arty they crap Picassos. That's OK though, cause unlike most cerebral acts, they are rather innovative and not in a "Look at me, I have a cello!" kinda way.





The Waitresses - The Comb

Since Christmas is now upon us like a pall of doom you might as well just become resigned to the fact that you are gonna hear that fuckin' Waitresses Christmas song transmitted in the fillings of you teeth from now till the end of advent. It might, however, help you to know that before they knew what boys liked , they were too busy shakin' their asses to give a shit.



The Birthday Party - Kiss Me Black

Everyone has been singing the praises of the new Nick Cave album for months, but I really don't dig it. It seems to me that he dumbed down all his lyrics over the course of the last several years to make them more accessible, but hey, I have a thesaurus and a King James bible. I can hang. Here we find Nick @ his least verbose, though I think it might be a dope thing, and less an ironic departure from preconceived tenants of genre. Still, it works.

Editor's note: Apparently Ed Roth, having designed the cover for 'Junkyard', was appalled at how the album's lyrics offended his Christian sensibilities. 'I stuck a six-inch gold blade in the head of a girl' indeed.


Guided Missles - I Used to be a Rock & Roller

A pseudo New-Wavy band from my neck o' the land (New Brunswick NJ), this track is kinda corny, but the sentiment seems extremely poignant when you consider the over-all death of the bar scene (R.I.P Melody Bar / Roxy), and the inevitable move towards more "grown-up" endeavors (again, dope or Law School?).

Editor's Note: Sorry. Didn't feel like taking a picture of the cover (I'm lazy). You didn't miss much.


The Shirts - Lonely Android

The Shirts are one of those CB's bands that just never made the cut. I guess they were too progressive for the Dead-boys crowd and had too many guitars where 'Television' was concerned.

Concerning CB's: Now that its gone, there is this weird mystique about it, but if you've ever hung your head-piece there, then you know that the booze is lousy, there is that one mutant step near the shitter which you always tripped over, and if there ever were a fire, you would surely be trampled by people trying to force there way though the chained-up fire exit before you even had a chance to burn to death.

Somehow I doubt that the re-dux they are planning in Vegas will embrace those quaint little touches.


The New Math - Borrowed Time (???)

I think that's the name of the song anyways. It's the last tune on Side: A of the 'Gardens' EP but there is no track listing, so I am gonna use the age old method of picking out the most oft used refrain and go with it. Perhaps best known for as the architects of 'Love under Will' offa the ROTLD soundtrack (Credited as the 'Jet Black Berries'), this band is a great example of the pop sensibilities that finally brought punk to its inevitable end.


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